You Made me stop loving you !

    

   I  was fine with myself . I was happy . And pouf you came along and made me feel like I needed you , which I did . let’s start by this imagine : a girl crying every night in her bed , sitting on the floor of her room sobbing , trying to make sense of it all . Now I want you to imagine that this girl  was me . I knew I was never good enough for you . I knew I would never hear it from you but I kept  lying to myself . But dying every day  was never taken to be love .  It was yesterday that I knew , I shouldn’t have loved you the way I did . I hate you for making me think you loved me . I hate the first time we met. i hate that you gave me a teddy bear that i grow attached to .I hate that  I was always your    ‘I can’t sleep’ conversation . I hate  that you always hold my hands, i felt so safe with you.
I hated that you were always there. I hate how serious things were always between us I felt like nobody knows you but me . I hate how I was never jealous of anyone and I started to .     I hate that you know me so well you know my weaknesses  . i hate how week , intimidated , silent I became . You made me a person I never thought I would become  .And  I hate that I have  to smile whenever I see you . But I’m sorry you lost me because all of this was hurting ……

Ps : Speaking My friend’s Mind .

Cute things guys do without paying attention !

When he is perfect but doesn’t know that 

When he is good with his siblings

Coloooooogne

When he stays up all night just to talk to you

When he walks on the side of the footpath that’s closest to the road to keep you safe

Tall guys *_*

When he says ‘awww’

Random ‘beautiful’ in random  conversation

When he smiles

When  he texts first  ( girls hattttttteee texting first )

When he takes picture with you  

Randomly compliments you  ( duuh girls always love compliments )

 When he forgives you

When he leaves you cute text notes ( morning , night those are the best )

 Remembers things  you told him a long time ago ( shows that he cares)

 When he dresses nicely  (  guys with sense of fashion gaaah )

 When you notice that he is shy  ( that  differs some girls don’t like shy guys )

 When he takes mental thoughts of things you like (cute ? check √ )

When he helps you find the right outfit ( dude you just won 10 points )

The one that picks you over his friends .

I saw the end before we’d began

     From the day I started  breathing  I met a bunch  of people . Some of them stayed  , some of them barely made any impression , some of them left me broken , and some of  them ended the relationship no matter how hard  I tried  to save it .

The thing is: people walk away from you life  when it’s time . Whether they chose that or not   . Life has always been planed and who knows maybe it wouldn’t work anyway .

This is why I’ll admit one of my biggest insecurities:  I don’t do big steps   . Even if   it’s obviously imminent in the future I’ve always had in mind that things always come to an end .  (I know it’s terrible ) and I struggle with my own thoughts every day  . let alone all the  nonsense distractions I created . But do I make sense here does it at least feel a bit right to let the days go  since  I’m  too  panicked about what the future might hide for me  . Wondering if the step  I would make will make it any worse .

So it’s always about the future , i’ve always made decision because I was scared of tomorrow  .But they say if your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough. 

    I know that i  MUST be optimistic but i           never achieve that shit.. :/ 

          Dear future ,

Do you know that I screwed up not one time not two , loads of times because of you

Do you know that you scare the shit outta me

Do you know that I lost so many things because I’ m not sure what you’re hiding

Would I be happy at least

Would I make it to my dream job

Would I even meet the person that will make me happy for the rest of my life

God help me to beat that future and make them all true !

    Does anyone  feel the same way  . I would love love loooooove to hear stories about  people who read my blog .  Believe  me when I tell you  that i hesitated a lot before writing this,  but I did it anyway I felt like I would explodeif I don’t  .  

Love you all

Good night xxxxx

Natural Beauty !

   

     Before eyebrows  on fleek , Kylie Jenner  challenge , Kim kardashian’s body , eyebrows were just eyebrows , full lips weren’t even seen as something charming , curves wasn’t something you celebrate having . But everything took another path or rather say the wrong path . 

    Back to the time when girls weren’t making so much effort to look pretty or buy mega expensive products to feel comfortable  . I’m not blaming the girls because let’s face it . I’m one of them beauty wasn’t handed to me in a silver platter, or not,  ( okey I’m a little bit  exaggerating lol ). The point is : Beauty was so much easier, yes I know makeup may give you an instant pleasure and confidence about the way you look . But , don’t you think it’s all fake , can’t you see that it changes who you are , let’s give the example of contouring  ,give the devil his due ,it’s maaaaaaaaaaaaaaagic and sooo helping HOWEVER  I don’t see the point of changing a chubby face it’s cute .

 The reason why I’m writing this is because I know it’s not easy to be a girl  , and most girls don’t feel comfortable about  themselves whether they admit it or not . Being a girl  is a lot of hard work .  So  using makeup isn’t wrong , what is terrible is  hating what you see before putting that mask on or after taking it off  . Makeup has been helping some girls to go through a difficult time, but  until now it could NoT  beat the natural beauty . My mother always says thank your body by eating healthy  , not putting something on it . It’s  because I hate vegetables and I’m always putting masks of natural things for a better skin (girl’s story ) so she gets angry . The reason why I’m always like “mom you have to  know that skin can absorb anything you put on it” . Unfortunately,  same goes for makeup this is why you should make sure that you take it off before sleeping to let your skin breath (Hint hint)  . So girls drink a lot of water , eat fruits and vegetables for a better skin (cliché but totally true) . And most importantly feel good about yourself the way you are . Each girl has her own beauty  that she should not hide  .let’s be natural , classy and pretty .

Love you all

Long distance best friend

    hey guys .   I wanted to  share with you one of the happiiiiessst day of my life , so first things first , you know there are millions of TV shows , movies showing how bad internet  can be  . your bestie on internet can  turn out to be a 50 years old man who wants to sell your kidneys on the black market , it’s accurate (lol) . my parents talk to me a lot about   how dangerous it is to meet strangers that you have no clue who they are  in real life …… and  yes internet is full  of bad people I can’t argue with that  because  I’ve been lied to , I met liars who pretended they are a person they are not in real life . But that didn’t stop me for having more and more friends from all over the world .  let’s go straight to the story I met my  internet best friend on instagram  like 8 months ago   about a book I think ….. yea  it was about a book.  we started talking on other networks  and getting along we talked like every day ……   she trusted me with all her problems and I did the same .you know  having a best friend on internet can be an amazing  thing  since you have zero boundaries talking to her .And,  that took me a huge part of my life to realize that  folks  I’ve met through internet genuily care about me . A lot than some on real life do . Just a few weeks ago I’ve been through a severe stress and anxiety, who stand by my side knew that something is up????? my internet best friend that I never met before .  This  girl not just stand by my side but also remembered every  single item on my wish list and bought them for me and now I have them in my room

 and I can’t believe how a person can know this much about you be this generous with you , and be there for you without waiting anything from you in return .

I want people to understand how incredible online bounds can be   . They can really help get through this life ……

Thank you saida ^_^  

20 ways to say I love you !

  

    Expressing emotions  is not easy  !  let’s not go so far .what was the last time you told  anyone you care about  ( I love you ) ?  it’s not a big deal is it ?  if you do , well good for you . Still if you don’t  that absolutely doesn’t  mean you  don’t love this person . it’s just you do it differently that  you can’t even feel it …. 

  So those are 20  ways to say I love you !

1.      You know that remembers me of you !

2.      It’s okey,  I couldn’t sleep anyway  

3.      You can talk to me , maybe it would make you feel better

4.      I dreamt about you last night

5.      I made your favorite

6.      We can share

7.      I was just thinking about you

8.      I saved you a seat

9.      You are important for me

10.  I believe in you

11.  Be careful please

12.  I noticed

13.  I appreciate your presence

14.  Your opinion matters

15.  I can’t go without you

16.  I hope you like it

17.  I wish I could see your face

18.  I choose this because it’s your favorite color

19.  I just wanted to talk to you

20.  You are the only one that can help me with that

Saying what you feel can be so hard sometimes. But that should not stop you  from doing it because let’s face it  people are not staying forever and you  don’t want to have regrets for the rest of your life  .